Greg's Occasional News & Views

Daily Archives: 26 July 2015

26 July 2015

As I mentioned last time, we had our favourite granddaughter for an overnighter last weekend and, as always, she was good as gold. We had fun on Saturday afternoon when we wandered down to the recreation ground to find a grand celebration in full swing, completely unbeknownst to us. There was a bouncy castle/slide, face-painting, drinks and nibbles for sale and a live “band” to entertain the multitude. The occasion was the re-opening after a period of closure for refurbishment, of the village club, bar & kitchen. Continue reading

26 July 2015 – Amusements

We’ve had a variation of this one before.

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: “10 lamb chops, please.”

Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog’s mouth, and quickly closes the shop. He follows the dog and watches him wait for a green light, look both ways, and trot across the road to a bus stop. The dog checks the timetable and sits on the bench. When a bus arrives, he walks around to the front and looks at the number, then boards the bus. The butcher follows, dumbstruck.

As the bus travels out into the suburbs, the dog takes in the scenery. After awhile he stands on his back paws to push the “stop” button, then the butcher follows him off.

The dog runs up to a house and drops his bag on the stoop. He goes back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself -Whap! – against the door. He does this again and again. No answer. So he jumps on a wall, walks around the garden, beats his head against a window, jumps off, and waits at the front door. A big guy opens it and starts cursing and pummeling the dog.

The butcher runs up screams at the guy: “What the hell are you doing? This dog’s a genius!”

The owner responds, “Genius, no way! It’s the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!” Continue reading

July 2015
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