Greg's Occasional News & Views

24 May 2015 – Amusements

“Of course I won’t laugh,” said the nurse. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.

“Okay then,” said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width it was almost identical to an AAA battery.

Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing. Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man’s part, she composed herself as well as she could.

“I am so sorry,” she said. “I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won’t happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?”

“It’s swollen,” Bob replied.


When you’re over 40, it’s important to exercise regularly. It’s also smart to take it easy at first, then do it faster as you become more proficient. The following exercise regime may be too strenuous for some at first.

Remember: always consult your doctor before starting any exercise program!

Ready? OK, then scroll down:

 

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A Little Farther…

 

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Now: scroll up.

 

That’s enough for the first day. Great job!

When finished, break for a beer.


A group of dinner guests were blaming all of America’s troubles on lawyers when a woman said, “They aren’t all so bad. Why, last year a lawyer gave me $1000.”

“I don’t believe it,” the host responded.

“It’s true, I swear it,” said the woman.

“Well, how did it happen,” the man asked, a bit suspicious.

“I had a complicated personal injury case,” the woman said, “and what with the lawyer’s fee, the cost of expert witnesses, the expense of the appeal and so on, my bill was $41,000.”

“OK,” the host said. “So where does the thousand bucks come in?”

“When the judgement only amounted to $40,000,” the woman replied, “my lawyer told me I wouldn’t have to pay him the difference.”


 

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