Greg's Occasional News & Views

Daily Archives: 15 February 2015

15 February 2015

Good morning to you all and hope you all had a splendid and rewarding Valentine’s Day, if you take any notice of such things. I have to confess to being a little cheesed off with all the media hype and general expectations on such occasions but fortunately my valentine knows she is the girl of my dreams rendering excessive displays of affection and the purchase of chocolates and/or flowers utterly unnecessary (at least, I hope that’s the case!). Continue reading

15 February 2015 – Amusements

In the great days of the British Empire , a new commanding officer was sent to a jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel. After welcoming his replacement and showing the usual courtesies (gin and tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc.) that protocol decrees, the retiring colonel said, “You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, he’s my right-hand man, he’s really the strength of this office. His talent is simply boundless.”

Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was surprised to meet a humpbacked, one eyed, toothless, hairless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall. “Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself.”

“Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and won the Military Cross and Bar after three expeditions behind enemy lines. I’ve represented Great Britain in equestrian events, and won a Silver Medal in the middleweight division of the Olympics. I have researched the history of…..”

Here the colonel interrupted, “Yes, yes, never mind that Smithers, he can find all that in your file. Tell him about the day you told the witch doctor to fuck off.” Continue reading

February 2015
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