10 August 2014 – Amusements

We’ve had it before but what the thit!

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp between two missing teeth, “Excuthe me, mithter, do you have widdle bunny wabbits?”

The shopkeeper’s heart melts, and he gets down on his knees so that he’s on her level and asks, “Do you want a widdle white bunny wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack bunny wabbit? Or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown bunny over there?”

She, in turn, blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a tiny quiet voice, “I don’t know. I don’t think my boa conthricter givths a thit.


I was visiting my mother one day when she passed the candy dish full of chocolates and took one for herself. “I thought your doctor told you to stop eating candy,” I said.

“Oh, I don’t have to listen to him anymore,” she replied.

“Why not?”

“He died.”


Can Cold Water Clean Dishes? This is for all the germ conscious folks that worry about using cold water to wash up.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan.

After spending a great evening chatting the night away, the next morning John’s grandfather prepared breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate, and questioned his grandfather asking,

“Are these plates clean?”

His grandfather replied, “They’re as clean as cold water can get em. Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!”

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.

Again, John was concerned about the plates as his appeared to have tiny specks around
the edge that looked like dried egg. He asked, “Are you sure these plates are clean?”

Without looking up the old man said, “I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don’t you fret, I don’t want to hear another word about it!”

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town and as he was leaving, his grandfather’s dog started to growl, and wouldn’t let him pass.

John yelled and said, “Grandfather, your dog won’t let me get to my car.”

Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV, the old man shouted, “Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!”