15 June 2014 – Amusements

A young couple had a five-year-old son who seemed normal in every way except one. Never in his whole life had he uttered a word. Naturally, the parents took him to speech therapists, child psychologists and psychiatrists, none of whom could explain his condition, let alone teach him to talk. Resigned to the idea that he would be mute all his life, they provided a good home with lots of love.

One morning he came to breakfast as usual and about halfway through, he looked around and said, “The toast is burned.”

Flabbergasted, the parents expressed their amazement and asked, “Why have you never spoken before?”

The child calmly replied, “Well, up to now, everything’s been okay.”

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all.

On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work.

When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline that term.

Three immigrants to the U. S. were just mastering the language. One was telling the others about the difficulty they were having in attempting to start a family. He said, “I think my wife must be impregnable.”

The second said, “That’s not the right word, she is inconceivable.”.

To which the third replied, “You are both wrong. She is unbearable.”