2 March 2014 – Amusements

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.

As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.”

He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”


This came from Penny’s sister J in Toronto.

Attempting to Set A New Password:

Website: Sorry your password has expired – you must register a new one.

User: Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?

Website: No, but your password has expired – you must get a new one.

User: Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty good?

Website: Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 30 days.

User: Can I use the old one and just re-register it?

Website: No, you must get a new one.

User: I don’t want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember.

Website: Sorry, you must get a new one.

User: OK, roses

Website: Sorry you must use more letters.

User: OK, pretty roses

Website: No good, you must use at least one number.

User: OK, 1 pretty rose

Website: Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces.

User: OK, 1prettyrose

Website: Sorry, you must use additional letters.

User: OK, 1fuckingprettyrose

Website: Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter.

User: OK, 1FUCKINGprettyrose

Website: Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row.

User: OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose

Website: Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters.

User: OK, 1Fuckingprettyroseshovedupyourarseifyoudon’tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow

Website: Sorry, you cannot use that password, it has already been taken.


A nurse received a call from an anxious patient. “I’m diabetic and I’m afraid I’ve had too much sugar today,” the caller said.

“Are you light-headed?” my colleague asked.

“No,” the caller answered, “I’m a brunette.”