Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. Well, now that I think about it, I think you bring me bad luck!
Frank was madly in love with Susan, but couldn’t get up enough courage to pop the question face to face. Finally he decided to ask her on the telephone. “Darling!” he blurted out. “Will you marry me?”
“Of course, I will, you silly boy,” she replied, “Who’s speaking?”
At a wine merchant’s, the regular taster died and the director started looking for a new one to hire. A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came in to apply for the position. The director of the winery wondered how to send him away.
He gave him a glass to drink.
The drunk tried it and said: “It’s a Muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers. Low grade, but acceptable.”
“That’s correct,” said the boss.
Another glass…. “It’s a Cabernet, eight years old, a south-western slope, oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees. Requires three more years for finest results.”
A third glass… “It’s a Pinot Blanc Champagne, high grade and exclusive,” calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished.
He winked at his secretary, secretly suggesting something. She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
The drunk tried it.
“It’s a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant – and if I don’t get the job, I’ll name the father.”