“Look at this mess!” roared an angry customer at a local cafe, pointing to his squashed doughnut.
“It’s just as you ordered it, sir,” the waitress replied meekly. “You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut, and step on it.”
The following reminds me of the often mis-quoted line from The Treasure of the Sierra Madre “We don’t need no stinkin’ badges.”
A man goes into an ice cream parlour and says, “I’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.”
The girl behind the counter says, “I’m very sorry, sir, but our delivery truck broke down this morning. We’re out of chocolate.”
“In that case,” the man says, “I’ll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.”
“You don’t understand, sir,” the girl says. “We have no chocolate.”
“Then just give me some chocolate,” he says.
Getting angrier by the second, the girl says, “Sir, will you spell VAN, as in vanilla?”
The man says, “V-A-N.”
“Now spell STRAW, as in strawberry.”
“Now,” the girl says, “spell STINK, as in chocolate.”
The man hesitates. Then he says. “There is no stink in chocolate.”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” she screams.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”
“Because white is the color of happiness,” her mother explained. “And today is the happiest day in her life.”
The child thought about this for a moment. “So why is the groom wearing black?”