19 May 2013 – Amusements

I don’t normally use material such as the following but, for some reason, I decided to make an exception with this one:

Perhaps one of the most common jobs for young people as they work their way through college or try to pick up some extra money while still in high school is to work at local supermarkets. Most start out as baggers at the checkout counters, but occasionally promotions and opportunities come along and the chance for a little more money becomes important.

One young man had worked bagging groceries for a year but was fascinated by the work in the produce section of the store. He was particularly taken with the way the store took fresh oranges and made fresh orange juice for customers. One day the supermarket installed a new machine that squeezed juice at five times the previous rate. Intrigued by this new, high-tech device, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.

“Why?” the boy asked. “I’d really like this promotion.”

The store manager replied, “Sorry son, but baggers can’t be juicers.”

One Monday morning a mailman is walking the neighborhood on his usual route. As he approaches one of the homes he noticed that both cars were in the driveway. His walk was cut short by Bob, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty liquor bottles.

“Wow Bob, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night!” the mailman comments.

Bob, in obvious pain replies, “Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first I have felt like moving since 4:00 Sunday morning. We had about fifteen couples from around the neighborhood over for a party and it got a bit wild. Hell, we got so drunk around midnight that we started playing Who Am I?”

The mailman thinks a moment and says, “How do you play that?”

“Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and we come out one at a time with a sheet covering us, with only our privates showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is.”

The mailman laughs and says, “Damn, I’m sorry I missed that.”

“Probably a good thing you did,” Bob responds. “Your name came up four or five times.”

A new study found that eating healthy adds $380 to your grocery bill every year. Or as some put it, “Cool, I saved $380 this year!”