10 February 2013 – Amusements

A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.

The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!.”

The plumber quietly answered, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.”


A few days before her birthday a husband asked his wife, “Dear, what would you like for your present?”

Wife: I really don’t think I should say.

Husband: How about a diamond ring?

Wife: I don’t care much for diamonds.

Husband: Well, then, a mink coat?

Wife: You know I do not like furs.

Husband: A golden necklace?

Wife: I already have three of them.

Husband: Well, gosh, what do you want?

Wife: What I’d really like is a divorce

Husband: Hmmm, I wasn’t planning on spending that much.


Lying on his deathbed, the wealthy Mr Sams was instructing his attorney on last-minute changes in his will.

“I wish to leave everything I own, all stocks, bonds property, art, and money, to my wife. However, there is one stipulation.”

“And that is?”

“In order to inherit, she must re-marry within six months of my death.”

The lawyer seemed puzzled. “Why make such an unusual request?”

Mr Sams answered, “Because I want someone to be sorry I died.”