2 December 2012 – Amusements

It was the end of the school year, and a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist’s son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it overhead, and said, “I bet I know what it is. Flowers.”

“That’s right!” the boy said, “But, how did you know?”

“Oh, just a wild guess,” she said.

The next pupil was the sweet shop owner’s daughter. The teacher held her gift overhead, shook it, and said, “I bet I can guess what it is. A box of sweets.”

“That’s right, but how did you know?” asked the girl.

“Oh, just a wild guess,” said the teacher.

The next gift was from the son of the liquor store-owner. The teacher held the package overhead, but it was leaking. She touched a drop off the leakage with her finger and put it to her tongue. “Is it wine?” she asked.

“No,” the boy replied, with some excitement.

The teacher repeated the process, tasting a larger drop of the leakage. “Is it champagne?” she asked.

“No,” the boy replied, with more excitement.

The teacher took one more big taste before declaring, “I give up, what is it?”

With great glee, the boy replied, “It’s a puppy!” SURPRISE!

We’ve had this before but it still makes me smile:

A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is working, and asks him, “Daddy, what’s sex?”

Caught off guard, and shaken at his innocent little girl asking such a question, he starts babbling about the birds and the bees. Then he looks at her bewildered expression and decides the best option is to tell her the truth. He covers a wide and varied assortment of sub-topics and by the time he’s finished, his daughter is somewhat awestruck with this sudden influx of bizarre new knowledge.

Her father finally asks, “So what did you want to know about sex for?”

“Oh, Mommy said to tell you that your lunch would be ready in a couple of secs.”

One day a young mother was sick in bed at home with her young daughter. The daughter was about four, and always wanting to be of help to her mommy. So while her mother was sick, the young girl got some magazines for her mom, fluffed all the pillows for her, and even made her a cup of tea!

Her mother was very pleased with the tea and asked her daughter how she had ever learned to make tea on her own. Her daughter proudly told her, “well Mommy, I’ve seen you do it LOADS of times. Only this time I couldn’t find the strainer, so I used the fly swatter instead.”