A man was on a long walk in the country. He became thirsty so decided to stop at a little cottage and ask for something to drink. The lady of the house invited him in and served him a bowl of soup by the fire.
There was a wee pig running around the kitchen, running up to the visitor and giving him a great deal of attention. The visitor commented that he had never seen a pig this friendly.
The housewife replied: “Ah, he’s not that friendly. That’s his bowl you’re using.”
A little girl asks her mum, ‘Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?’ Her mum replies ‘No, because she is on heat.’
‘What does that mean?’ asked the child.
‘Go and ask your father. I think he’s in the garage.’
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, ‘Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said the dog was on the heat, and to come ask you.’
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog’s backside with it to disguise the scent, and said ‘Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one time around the block.’
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, ‘Where’s Lulu?’
The little girl said, ‘She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.’
A disappointed salesman of Coca-Cola returned from his assignment to Israel. A friend asked, “Why weren’t you successful with the Israelis?”
The salesman explained, “When I got posted, I was very confident I would make a good sales pitch. But I had a problem. I didn’t know how to speak Hebrew. So I planned to convey the message through three posters.
First poster: A man lying in the hot desert sand totally exhausted and fainting.
Second poster: The man is drinking Coca-Cola
Third poster: Our man is now totally refreshed.
And then these posters were pasted all over the place.
“Terrific idea! That should have worked” said the friend.
“It should have!” said the salesman. “But no one told me they read from right to left!”