16 September 2012 – Amusements

It was rumoured that a particular Native American had a fantastic memory. Hundreds of people asked the Indian questions which he was able to answer. A sceptical young man set out to find this Indian. When he did, he thought he’d conduct a test.

After standing in a long queue of people asking questions it was finally his turn. He asked the Indian what he had had for breakfast 10 years ago. The Indian replied, “Eggs.”

The young man went off not entirely satisfied because there was no evidence to prove that the answer was correct.

Ten years later the man comes across the Indian again. Very pleased to see him he greets him in the stereo-typical “How.”

The Indian looks up at him, pauses for a moment and then replies, “Scrambled.”

Have we had this before? I expect so . . .

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his dossier and says, “Ah, you’re an engineer — you’re in the wrong place.”

So the engineer reports to the gates of hell and is let in. Pretty soon, the engineer gets dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and starts designing and building improvements. After a while, they’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is becoming a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls Satan up on the telephone and asks with a sneer, “So, how’s it going down there in hell?”

Satan replies, “Hey, things are going great. We’ve got air conditioning, flush toilets and escalators, and there’s no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next.”

God replies, “What??? You’ve got an engineer? That’s a mistake — he should never have gotten down there; send him up here.”

Satan says, “No way! I like having an engineer on the staff, and I’m keeping him.”

God says, “Send him back up here or I’ll sue.”

Satan laughs uproariously and answers, “Yeah right. And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?”

Friends and I were chatting over dinner in a restaurant. A man at the next table told his cell-phone caller to hold on. Then he stepped outside to talk. When he returned, I said, “That was very thoughtful.”

“I had no choice,” he nodded and said to me. “You were making too much noise.”