12 August 2012 – Amusements

Penny and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night. “Did you smell that food?” she asked. “Incredible!”

Being the nice guy I am, I thought, “What the heck, I’ll give her a treat.” So I turned and walked her past it again.


During a commercial airline flight a retired pilot was seated next to a young mother with a babe in arms.

When the baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began breast feeding the infant as discreetly as possible.

The pilot pretended not to notice and, upon disembarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related items.

When the young mother expressed her gratitude, the pilot responded, “Gosh, that’s a good looking baby — and he sure was hungry!”

Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her paediatrician said that the time spent on the breast would help alleviate the changing pressure in the baby’s ears.

“And all those years,” the old captain said, suddenly looking terribly sad, “I just chewed gum.”


When I went to the doctor for my yearly physical, my blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I’d gained some weight and I didn’t feel so hot. My doctor said that eating right doesn’t have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems. He said, “Just think in colors. Fill your plate with bright colors of greens, yellows, reds, etc.”

So, I went right home and emptied an entire bag of M&Ms onto a plate, ate them and sure enough, I felt better!