27 May 2012 – Amusements

One day, a seamstress was sewing while sitting next to a river, and she dropped her thimble into the water. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, “My dear child, why are you crying?”

The seamstress replied that her thimble had fallen into the water and that she needed it to help her husband in making a living for their family. The Lord dipped His hand into the water and pulled up a golden thimble set with pearls.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress replied, “No, sir.”

The Lord again dipped into the river. He held out a silver thimble ringed with sapphires.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

Again, the seamstress replied, “No, sir.”

The Lord reached down again and came up with a leather thimble.

“Is this your thimble?” the Lord asked.

The seamstress smiled and replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the woman’s honesty and gave her all three thimbles to keep, and the seamstress went home happy.

Some years later, the seamstress was walking with her husband along the riverbank, and her husband fell into the river and disappeared under the water. When she cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked her, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my husband has fallen into the river!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with George Clooney.

“Is this your husband?” the Lord asked.

“Yes!” cried the seamstress.

The Lord was furious. “You lied!”

The seamstress replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord — it is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to George Clooney, you would have come up with Brad Pitt. Then if I said ‘no’ to him, you would have come up with my husband. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given me all three. Lord, I’m not in the best of health and would not be able to take care of all three husbands, so that’s why I said ‘yes’ to George Clooney.”

And so the Lord let her keep him.

The moral of the story: Whenever a woman lies, it’s for a good and honourable reason, and in the best interest of others.

Signed,

The Women


A ten-year-old girl asked and received help from a librarian on how to use the card catalogue. In a little while, the girl approached the librarian again, wanting to know how to spell “tequila.”

“T-e-q-u-i-l-a,” spelled the librarian, as the girl thanked her and went back to her search. A short time later she came to the desk, looking quite distraught.

“I just can’t find it,” she said.

“What book are you looking for, honey?” the librarian asked.

Replied the little girl, “Tequila Mockingbird.”


Kara announced to her family, “Tomorrow morning I’m going to make an old-fashioned breakfast with eggs, ham, biscuits and grits.”

Five-year-old Jessica groaned, “But, Mommy, you know I don’t like eggs.” Kara then reminded Jessica of all the food the little girl liked that contained eggs.

The next morning, when Jessica walked into the kitchen, Kara said, “Since you are here first, you can decide for the family. How do you want me to cook the eggs?”

Jessica answered, “In chocolate cake, please.”