During a robbery, one of the robbers’ mask slid down.
He looked at a man and asked, “Did you see my face?”
The man replied, “Yes!” and the robber immediately shot him.
Then he asked a woman, “Did you see my face?”
She replied, “No, but my husband over there did.”
One day a man walked into a bar. He told the bartender that he didn’t have any money. However, he would show the bartender something amazing in exchange for a drink. It was a slow day, so the bartender agreed.
The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a frog and a tiny saxophone. He gave the saxophone to the frog. The frog then proceeded to play an incredible jazz solo. Highly impressed, the bartender gave the man a drink.
The man then asked for another drink in exchange for something even more amazing. The bartender agreed.
So the man pulled a hamster out of his pocket and set it on the bar. The frog started playing the saxophone again. Then the hamster started singing along. It was a terrific jazz duet. Even more impressed, the bartender gave the man a second drink.
Just then another bar patron rushed up to the man. He offered the man $1,000 for the singing hamster. The man considered it for a moment and then agreed to the deal. The patron paid the man and quickly left with the hamster. After the patron left, the bartender exclaimed, “I can’t believe you let a singing hamster go for only $1,000!”
The man replied, “It’s no loss to me. The frog is a ventriloquist.”
A hungry tramp who had walked many miles along a rough outback track came to a small pub named ‘George and the Dragon’ and made his way around the back in search of a food handout. Before he had time to ask, the pub keeper’s wife came on the scene and gave the tramp the greatest verbal thrashing of his life. She called him a lazy good for nothing loafer and added if he was hoping to get even a crust of bread he could forget it.
The tramp heard her out in silence, then just stood there.
“Well,” she snapped, “now what is it you want?”
“I was wondering,” said the man, “if I could have a word with George?”