I think we’ve had this before but what the heck:
One day in New York City, a banker was driving his new Jaguar down the streets. He parked it and opened the door to get out.
Suddenly a taxi went by and ripped the door off. The driver reported this to a nearby police officer.
The officer saw the whole thing and said “You bankers are so involved in your possessions. You didn’t even notice that your arm was ripped off as well”
The banker stared at where his arm used to be and said “OH NO! My new Rolex is gone too!”
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the wife replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”
Mrs. Pauly was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the porch with her husband, and she says, “I love you so much; you’ve stood by me in good times and bad; I don’t know how I could ever live without you.”
Pauly asks, “Is that you or the wine talking?”
She replies, “It’s me… talking to the wine.”
A boy was having a lot of difficulty in French class. To encourage him, his teacher said, “You’ll know you’re really beginning to get it when you start dreaming in French.”
The boy ran into class all excited one day, saying, “Teacher, teacher! I had a dream last night and everyone was talking in French!”
“Great!” said the teacher; “what were they saying?”
“I don’t know,” the boy replied; “I couldn’t understand them.”