12 June 2011 – Amusements

It just hit me:

My dog sleeps about 20 hours a day.

He has his food prepared for him.

He can eat whenever he wants, 24/7/365.

His meals are provided at no cost to him.

He visits the doctor once a year for his check-up, and again during the year if any medical needs arise.

For all this he pays nothing, and nothing is required of him.

He lives in a nice neighborhood in a house that is much larger than he needs, but he is not required to do any upkeep. If he makes a mess, someone else cleans it up for him.

He has his choice of luxurious places to sleep.

He is living like a King, and has absolutely no expenses whatsoever.

All of his costs are picked up by others who go out and earn a living every day.

I was just thinking about all this, and suddenly it hit me:

My dog is a politician!

One October my wife and I spent a vacation on Washington’s Olympic Peninsula. We were eager to visit the rain forests near the coast, but we heard that snow slides had made some of the roads impassable. Although apprehensive about the conditions we might run into, we drove on.

Sure enough, we had gone only a short way up the High Rain Forest road when we saw a sign: “Ice 10 miles.”

Five miles farther on there was another: “Ice 5 miles.”

The next one was: “Ice 1/2 mile.” We practically crept that half-mile.

Then we came to the last sign. It was outside a small grocery store, and it read: “Ice 75 cents.”

I had not seen this variation on the “Hit Any Key” joke before. The ones I’ve seen previously refer to the operator not being able to find the “Any” key on his keyboard.

New customer to Tech Support: “It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens’.

Tech Support: Can you try again and tell me what happens?

Customer: ‘Tried but nothing”

Tech Support: “What key did you hit?

After a moment and a chinkling sound the customer replied: “Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key.”