29 May 2011 – Amusements

A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor’s, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.

“Is your Dad home?”

“No sir, he isn’t; he went to town.”

“Well, is your Mother here?”

“No sir, she went to town with Dad.”

“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”

“No sir, he went with Mom and Dad.”

The rancher stood there for a minute, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.

“Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message for ya.”

“Well,” said the rancher uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzie pregnant.”

The boy thought for a moment. “You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don’t know how much he charges for Howard.”

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Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter.

Ten men and one woman.

The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to let go, otherwise they would all fall.

They weren’t able to choose that person until the woman gave a very touching speech.

She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was always making sacrifices with little in return.

As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.

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A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.

His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”

“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and we all had to do our own thinking.”

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