8 May 2011 – Amusements

A cop sees an older gentleman staggering slightly down the street. It’s 1:00 in the morning. He pulls over for a chat.

“Good evening, sir,” the cop says. “Is everything OK?”

“Why yes, officer, thank you,” the man says, speaking a bit thickly.

“Where are you headed?” the cop asks.

“I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body,” the man says with certainty.

“Sir, it’s 1:00 in the morning,” the cop says. “Who would be giving a lecture on that topic at this hour?”

The man nods, looks the cop in the eye, and says, “My wife.”

*************

The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. “The last time she came,” he objected, “I didn’t catch a single fish.”

“I’ll talk to her,” his mother said, “and I promise this time she won’t make any noise.”

“It wasn’t the noise, Mom,” the boy replied. “She ate all my bait.”

*************

An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, gee, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”

*************

Mr. Trent always scheduled the weekly staff meeting for four thirty on Friday afternoons.

When one of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, he explained. “I will tell you why … I’ve learned that’s the only time of the week when none of you seem to want to argue with me.”

*************

 

2 thoughts on “8 May 2011 – Amusements”

  1. Thanks for gracing us with your presence…we enjoyed having you here.
    Your pictures are quite fabulous! How do I get them into my Picasa so that I may claim them as my own when I show them around Kendal?

  2. Click the image in the slideshow that you want. Then, when you have the large picture on the screen, right-click and select Save Picture As.

    Love you!

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