6 February 2011 – Amusements

Following on from last week’s piece about jokes from different countries and how they very often are all about making fun of a neighbouring country or region, I ran across this one the other day which, once again, illustrates the point:

A couple of Canadian Native Americans were driving along a road when they collided with an American car head on. Both Indians and the American were killed instantly.

As they reached heaven, God said “Wait, it’s not your time. You have to go back.”

“How can we go back?” they replied. “Our bodies were mangled in the car accident.”

God pointed to a wishing well and, when they looked down it, they could see the world below them. “I’ll reincarnate you as an animal,” God said, “just say what you want to be and jump in.”

The first Indian ran, jumped into the well and shouted “Eagle!” and he suddenly became a majestic eagle, soaring high.

The second Indian ran to the well, jumped in and shouted “Wolf” and so he became a mighty wolf, running free in the forest.

Astounded and delighted by this the American sprinted towards the well, tripped on a rock and shouted, “Shit!”

A farmer and his wife had just woken up one morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in bed, the farmer’s wife says, “Pa, you know our neighbour Mr Jones?”

“Yes Ma, I reckon I do,” replied the sleepy farmer.

“Well, every morning before he leaves the house for work, he gives his wife a big ol’ kiss. Why don’t you ever do that?”

The farmer sighed and said, “Well, I reckon I can, but I just don’t know her all that well.”

A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the bartender’s attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, “I’ll have another Waterloo.”

The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like.

The thirsty man points to the man next to him and says, “That looks great! I’ll have what he’s having, a Waterloo.”

So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, “HEY! This isn’t any good. It tastes just like water!”

The regular bar patron sitting next to him says, “It is water, buddy. That’s all I drink,” He turns to the bartender and says, “Right Lou?”