Greg's Occasional News & Views

Daily Archives: 9 January 2011

9 January 2011

This is what winter in England is really all about. Never mind the picturesque snow-covered fields, the lightly frosted branches. Nope, we’re talking real, traditional English winter weather here – on Friday it was just about as miserable as it is possible to be. It was cold, the wind was blowing a decent pace and the rain was absolutely sheeting down. It was grey and dreary and even the dog had to think twice about venturing out for her morning constitutional, hesitating at the prospect which greeted her as I opened the front door. I certainly seriously considered simply letting her out, telling her to be careful with the traffic and reminding her just to give us a quick bark when she wanted to come back in again, but she wasn’t buying it. So out we went and it was, truly, truly awful. It’s the kind of weather that makes you wonder why you ever left the west coast.

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9 January 2011 – Amusements

Farmer Joe was in his car when he was hit by a truck. He decided his injuries from the accident were serious enough to take the trucking company (responsible for the accident) to court. In court the trucking company’s fancy lawyer was questioning farmer Joe. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’?” said the lawyer.

Farmer Joe responded, “Well I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite mule Bessie into the….” “I didn’t ask for any details,” the lawyer interrupted, “just answer the question.”

“Did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine’!”

Farmer Joe said, “Well I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road….”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the Judge was fairly interested in Farmer Joe’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite mule Bessie.”

Joe thanked the Judge and proceeded, “Well as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite mule, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other.

I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear ole Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning so he went over to her. After he looked at her, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes.

Then the Patrolman came across the road with his gun in his hand and looked at me. He said, “Your mule was in such bad shape I had to shoot her. How are you feeling?”
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